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What Does It Mean To Be Asexual? 18 Things To Know

You may have heard about certain words like grey-aromatic, aromantic, demisexual, and asexual. They all are included in the same terms that the people in the ace community used to describe different romantic and sexual attraction levels. Have you ever wondered what these terms mean?

Openly speaking, sexual attraction means the level of sexual desire and interest we have for another person. It could mean to make out with someone you are attracted to, wanting to cuddle them or have sex with them. Being stimulated by them or some people do not feel any of these attractions. However, if you notice that you do not desire sexual attention, you may be identified as asexual. 

Romantic attraction means the level of romantic interest that a person has for another person. Such attractions include feeling attached emotionally, wanting to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I like you,’ and desire to date someone. Some people do not feel romantic attraction falls in the category of aromantic. 

Your romantic attraction and sexual attraction are not always the same as they are a lot of different from each other. So for some people they think that they are romantically attracted to all types of gender, whereas you might find your sexual attraction towards few genders only. 

Moreover, you might not be sexually attracted to some genders, but you can still live a good life filled with loving romantic relationships. 

However, some factors determine the different conditions on which we get the ace community. Moreover, you may be sexually attracted to the person you have built a great relationship with. One great thing about asexual is to have a romantic relationship, as nowadays people are more interested in developing a relationship with the ace community that focuses on a lot of sexuality. 

Asexuality states a lack of sexual appeal. You might have the experience of romantic attraction but must include as before you urge entirely to play.

1. Being Asexual Means Different Things To Different People 

People who are asexual may feel a little or no sexual attraction towards the opposite or the same sex. Sexual attraction means looking for a person whom you found sexually appealing and desire to have sex with them. However, everybody being with an asexual has a diverse experience, and asexuality can sometimes mean different things.

Asexuality is like a spectrum, as it is different from abstinence and celibacy. Asexual people require the same emotional needs as everyone else. Moreover, people can get attracted to any gender. Another type of spectrum includes a close friendship to intimate relationships. In such cases, people will get arousal, or some individuals might masturbate, as they do not have any interest in sex with any other gender.

Let us discuss some basics. 

2. Some People Don’t Experience Sexual Attraction Even

though asexual people do not feel any sexual attraction; however, it does not mean they cannot feel other kinds of appealing. Apart from sexual attraction, you might also experience:

  • Platonic Attraction: if you desire to become a friend of someone.
  • Aesthetic Attraction: you might be attracted to someone due to his or her looks.
  • Romantic Attraction:  you want to build a romantic relationship with someone.
  • Physical And Sensual Attraction: you may have the desire to hold, touching, or cuddling someone.
  • Emotional Attraction: you desire to build a passionate relationship with someone.

The attractions mentioned above are possible for an asexual person to experience. Not only for asexual peoples but other types of sexuality also experience this attraction. However, some people feel shy about expressing their sexuality to their partner, friends, and family.

If a person thinks that he or she is asexual, they must talk about it with their partner, as there is nothing to worry about being asexual, and when you speak about this, it will make you comfortable. Being asexual sometimes make a person desire less of sexual activity, or sometimes they are the one who startup these activities.

However, no study shows why a person is born asexual, as it mainly depends on the environment they live in and the people around them. Moreover, asexual means different things to every person, as sometimes they feel they are asexual and other times they are romantically and sexually attracted to someone.

3. Others May Only Experience Sexual Attraction In Certain Circumstances

Some individuals can experience sexual appeal in limited cases only. For example, a person who is demisexual that some people say that falls under the category of asexual peoples. These people feel sexually attracted only when they are emotionally connected with someone. The individual who experiences sexual attraction towards a person with whom they have a deep romantic connection.

4. They Have A Libido Or Sexual Desire, But It’s Void Of Sexual Attraction

There is some difference in sexual attraction, sexual desire, and libido

  • Sexual Attraction: This means finding someone you found sexually appealing and desire to have sexual intercourse with them.
  • Sexual Desire: some people may desire to have sex, or may either for conception, personal connection, pleasure, or something else.
  • Libido: it justifies your sex drive; this means that you want to have experience sexual pleasure, sexual release, and sexual intercourse. For some individuals, it is a little wanting to scratch an inch.

Many people are not even asexual but have a low level of libido, or sometimes they do not desire to have sex. Similarly, the asexual individual will still have libido and may experience sexual desire. So, an asexual individual may still have sex or masturbate.

The reasons why an asexual individual will want to have sexual intercourse. for instance:

  • For conceiving a children 
  • For making their partner happy
  • To receive and show affection
  • For satisfying their libido
  • To experience the intimate pleasure of sex
  • To experience sensual pleasure of sex, such as cuddling and touching

Of course, few asexual individuals will have little or no sexual desire, which’s okay! For different peoples, asexuality means other things.

5. They Fall Somewhere Between Or Outside Any Of These Scenarios 

A lot of individuals view sexuality as a spectrum. 

Asexuality can be a spectrum too, with some individuals feel no sexual appeal, whereas others experience some sexual attraction, and others encounter a lot of sexual attraction.

Greysexual individuals rarely encounter any sexual attraction, or they might experience sexual attraction but at a lower intensity. According to studies, grey sexual people are seen in the middle of asexuality and sexuality. 

6. One Thing’s For Sure: It Isn’t The Same Thing As Celibacy Or Abstinence

Many people wrongly think that celibacy or Abstinence is the same thing as asexuality. However, Abstinence means a person has decided not to have sexual intercourse. This state is for some time only. For instance, some couples choose to withhold sexual intercourse until they get wedded, or some people decide to withhold sexual intercourse during difficult times in their lives. 

Celibacy means lifetime commitment of withholding sexual intercourse or possible until marriage. It could be for cultural, personal, religious reasons. 

Celibacy and Abstinence are choices, whereas asexuality is not a choice. It depends upon the person whether they want to have sex or not. Because asexual people also experience high libido and may engage in sexual intercourse.

Moreover, an asexual person may not deny having sex at all; as mentioned earlier, some asexual individuals engage in sexual activities. 

7. Despite What You May Have Heard, It Isn’t A Medical Concern

The majority of the population thinks that there is something odd with asexual peoples. In the world where are many beautiful people exist, it is assumed that everyone has experience sexual attraction. However, some asexual individuals may get worried that there is something ‘odd’ with themselves. 

Moreover, asexuality is not a medical concern, as it is not something that needs to be sorted. It must also go without saying anything, but if a person is asexual and experiencing symptoms of asexual are two different things:

If an individual is asexual, then he or she might fear intimacy.

  • If the person lost his or her sexual desire, then they might consider themselves asexual
  • The person may be suffering from sexual repression; that is, they cannot describe their sexuality.
  • The individual may suffer from sexual aversion that avoids genital sexual contact with the sex partner. It may cause some interpersonal difficulties or distress.
  • Your partner may be suffering from sexual dysfunction means the problem occurs during the sexual response cycle that keeps them from experience pleasure from sexual activity. These responses to the sexual process mainly include plateau, resolution, orgasm, and excitement. 

Anyone can develop these health conditions, no matter what their sexual orientation. So you might heard much humor about asexuality, which is not concerned with any medical issue.

8. There Isn’t An Underlying ‘Cause’

As with bisexuality or homosexuality, there is no primary ’cause’ of asexuality. It is just a personal way to live their life. Moreover, asexuality is not the result of any trauma, or due to their genetics, or caused by anything else. Besides, it depends upon the individual’s experience of how they feel themselves and the people around them. However, it would no question their sexual personality 

9. And It Has Nothing To Do With Being Unable To Find A Partner

It is often assumed by most of the people that asexual people will only feel sexually attracted when they find the right individual. This statement is untrue as some asexual people are often sexually attracted to a number of people. However, finding the right person will make them feel more comfortable and explore their world, but “only the right person will make them feel sexually attracted” is not valid.

According to studies, it shows that many asexual individuals crave romantic relationships, and indeed plenty of asexual people are in a healthy and happy romantic relationship. Asexuals are people who do not find any problem with having a relationship with other sexual individuals. All they have to do is understand themselves and the person with whom they are coming in a relationship.

10. Sexual Attraction And Desire Aren’t The Same Thing As Romantic Attraction And Desire

An individual wants to have sexual intercourse and a person wishing to have a romantic relationship with them; both are two different things. The person who is engaging in sexual intercourse is doing it to get pleasure out of it and have fun. In contrast, people who engage in a romantic relationship build an emotional connection between each other and look forward to having their own family live peacefully.

Therefore, it is essential for you to remember that romantic attraction is different from sexual attraction. For instance: sexual attraction occurs when you desire to have sex with the person by seeing their personality, whereas romantic interest happens when you fall in love with the person not because of their physical attributes but with the person inside them that is the person’s soul.

In the same way, you have to understand that romantic desire Is different from sexual desire. As one is the desire to engage in sexual intercourse, whereas the other is desiring to have a romantic relationship. 

11. Many Asexual People Desire And Have Romantic Relationship 

Sometimes it may happen that asexual people do not experience sexual attraction; instead they may still experience romantic attraction. An individual with an asexuality personality may get romantically attracted to a person of the same sex or person with another gender, or person with multiple genders. It depends upon the romantic desire of a particular person.

In fact, many asexual people are engaged in a healthy relationship with their partners and live their best life. Studies show that a lot of people want to have a romantic relationship; however, this can be with asexual people or may build their relationships with people who are not asexual. They do not worry about the sexuality of the person. They also work together and build the best relationship with their partners. 

12. Asexual People May Engage In Sexual Intimacy With Their Partner

as discussed; some asexual individuals engage in sexual intercourse because sexual desire and sexual attraction are two different terms. In other words, you may want to engage in sexual intercourse, but you may not look at a person and desire to have sex with them. 

As you all know, every asexual person would be different, and every asexual person has different needs and requirements. Some asexual people may feel repulsed by sexual intercourse, some people will make them think nonchalant about asexuality, and other people enjoy it. 

Undoubtedly, they also experience the sex drive as an average person does; it depends upon a person’s mood, and if they feel attracted to their partner, they might have a higher sexual drive. Moreover, they are keen to engage with their partner, whether they are asexual or not; they try to build their relationship and start to think about their family’s future.

13. Others May Prefer Non-Romantic Relationships

in this world, there are many asexual individuals who do not want to have a romantic relationship. Some asexual people feel a little or no sexual attraction; however some aromantic people do not feel to engage in a romantic relationship. Whereas some people, not all, are asexual people are aromantic. Queerplatonic is a term that originated from aromantic and sexual communities.

According to the studies, a queerplatonic relationship means a close non-romantic relationship. The individuals are engaged in a queerplatonic relationship and are committed like those already in a relationship. Moreover, anyone builds a queerplatonic relationship, and it does not matter what romantic and sexual orientation your partners have, and they build a better understanding with their partners.

Moreover, some people in this world like a non-romantic relationship. Although people who are not interested in romantic relationships may find it hard to find a partner that fulfill their needs.

14. Some May Find That Their Capacity For Attraction Or Desire Shifts Over Time – And That’s OK

Many people state that their identity is dynamic. One day the person may feel that they are asexual because they think a little or no sexual desire. After a few months later, they may undergo a change that affects their sexual desire. They might find themselves experiencing sexually more attracted to different peoples. 

In the same way, some people discover themselves as heterosexual, and later on, feel that they are asexual due to less sexual desire and lower level of libido. Moreover, it does not mean that why they were confused or wrong about it before. It is because they do not understand the symptoms of being asexual. 

Moreover, being asexual is not a phrase that you will come out after completing it. For some people, people’s capacity for attraction is fluid, which changes over time to time. It is considered completely usual. 

15. If You Experienced Sexual Attraction In The Past But No Longer Do, Your Asexual Identity Is Still Valid

Some of the asexual people may have experienced sexual appeal in the past; however they no longer have it. It is a fact that people’s capacity for attraction can alter over time, so you need to make sure that you experience these stages. 

Mroeverover, if an asexual person feels sexual appeal from a particular gender, it does not mean that you are no longer asexual that represents your identity is still valid as asexual.   

16. The Same Is True For People Who No Longer Identify As Asexual 

It is the same thing that most people sometimes identify themselves asexual, and after some time, they feel that they are sexual attraction more. Moreover, It also does not mean that they never had asexual personalities or were wrong and love to provide championship the owner. 

17. How Do I Know If I’m Asexual?

However, there is not a single instrument to test the sexuality of the person, and you will have many questions in your mind. To help out the desired result and you need to ask yourself some questions and see whether they align with the typical characteristics of asexuality.

Some of the question you can ask yourself includes:

  • Do I experience more often sexual attraction?
  • Do I need to think about having sex whenever I found someone for me?
  • What does sex appeal mean to me?
  • Is engaging in sexual activity is important for me?
  • How do I think about the concept of sex?
  • Do I notice attractive people and think they need to engage in sex with them?
  • How do I show affection to my partner? Does the sex factor include in it?

However, there is nothing ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ answer here, but if you consider asking these questions, it might help you know whether you are asexual. Also, there is a lot of information regarding this issue on the internet; if you find yourself confused, read about asexuality and speaking up with the member, so the asexual community will help you understand your sexuality type. 

18. Ultimately, You Should Use The Identifier(S) You’re Most Comfortable With

you are the one in charge which decides to identify yourself as asexual or not. The quotas you use for defining your personality, orientation, identity, or sexuality are entirely up to you. The public does not get to decide whether you are asexual or not. You should also find something or ask yourself some questions regarding your sexuality, which will help you formulate the body type and requirement of the body. Moreover, if you decide to avoid using any labels to express yourself, that’s OK.

Just like other people are bisexual and grey, whereas some are asexual. If a person is asexual, then hey or she might not be interested in sex. However, they might feel romantic appeal but similar at a different time they may not. There is a wide variety of identities in the asexual spectrum, from people who feel no romantic and sexual attraction to people who get engaged in sexual intercourse under several conditions. Many asexual people are living a meaningful life that helps them to keep their relation long-lasting, however, some get wedded and start their own family.

Last but not least, asexuality is not like abstinence or celibacy, which means a person may feels sexually attracted but do not like to act on it.